Cooties
by Kishiro Kitsune
Summary: Matthew's best friends taught him everything he needed to know about life, including what cooties are and how to avoid catching them, but maybe they were wrong about all girls having them.


I was disappointed by the lack of Canada x Belgium fics, so I decided to write my own.

Matthew Williams = Canada  
Gilbert = Prussia  
Carlos = Cuba  
"Eli" Hedervary = Hungary  
Laura = Belgium

**Cooties**

Everyone knew that girls had cooties and little Matthew Williams was no exception. Of course, he hadn't always known, which was why he was so thankful for his two best friends, Gilbert and Carlos, who taught him all sorts of important things. He would never forget the day they told him about cooties.

They'd been sitting in Gilbert's basement playing _Chutes and Ladders_ and talking about regular things little boys talk about, when Gilbert suddenly brought up the topic of girls. Or, more specifically, the fact that Eli Hedervary, who they'd always thought was a boy, was actually a girl.

"What's so bad about him being a girl?" Asked poor, naïve little Matthew.

"Because_,_" Carlos leaned in and lowered his voice as if he was about to divulge something top secret. "Girls have _cooties._"

Gilbert nodded sagely in agreement.

"Cooties?" Matthew repeated in confusion. "What's that?"

"You don't know about cooties?!" Gilbert exclaimed, his red eyes widening. "Good thing you're friends with us! Could you imagine what would happen if you weren't? Don't you worry, Mattie! We'll teach you everything you need to know!"

And so they did, telling Matthew everything they knew about the invisible creatures that all little girls carried around with them.

"Just remember to never be mean to a girl, cuz they can get you from a distance if they really, really want to," Gilbert advised. "Plus they're all delicate and stuff. It's not worth getting in trouble when they cry."

"But the most important rule of all is to never, _ever_ let one of them kiss you. You're a goner then," said Carlos.

Matthew nodded slowly. "I- I think I understand now. Thanks!"

And for a long time (6 months), Matthew was able to follow those rules. But then a bubbly little blonde girl with pretty green eyes moved to town and enacted a diabolical plan to befriend her quiet neighbour.

Matthew's mother sabotaged him at every turn, insisting that he come down from his room to say hello and "play nice". Mumbling a hello and then trying to escape didn't work and he always hated when his mother scolded him for being rude. Matthew tried to explain to her about cooties, but she wouldn't listen to him.

Then suddenly it was July 1st, his birthday, and his mother agreed to let him have a big party in their backyard, so long as the weather was nice. He really only wanted to spend the day with Carlos and Gilbert, but his mom wouldn't listen to him about that either and went on to invite his cousins and some of the other neighbourhood kids.

The little girl was one of the first to show up (with her way cool big brother who was already in middle school). She skipped right over to Matthew with a big smile on her face and stopped right in front of him.

"Happy Birthday, Mattie!" She said, swooping in to plant a kiss right on his cheek.

Matthew shut down. His cheeks burned in embarrassment. He quickly looked around, praying no one had seen what just took place. Thankfully, no one was paying attention and his friends had yet to arrive.

"L-Laura-" he stammered.

"You're so cute~" She giggled. Then it was her turn to look embarrassed. Her eyes widened and she lifted a hand to cover her mouth as she took a step back. "I- I, uh, I didn't mean - I'm sorry!" She squeaked and then spun around and fled.

Matthew stared after her, watching as she ran over to her brother and hid behind him, her eyes to the ground and a dusting of warm pink coloring her cheeks. He lifted a hand to touch his own cheek where she kissed him. It was strange, she didn't feel any different. Maybe Laura was different from all the other girls. He'd still keep it his own little secret, of course.

From that day on, so long as his friends weren't looking, Matthew made sure to always have a smile for Laura. It was the least he could do since she didn't infect him with cooties.

* * *

End


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